Greetings family!
It’s that time of year again. Many of you may find yourselves in situations where you are not able to be your true self. You may have relatives who reject you because of who you are or who you love.
This can be tough. It can have negative impacts on your mental health.
Know that you are not the problem. You have the right to stay away from gatherings that are going to trigger you.
Love yourself enough to do what’s best for YOU this holiday season.
Always,
Bash
For quite some time, I lost my drive to explore new things. I became uptight and stern. Laughter rarely escaped my lips. I was a 20- something old man. It was exhausting.
At 30, I’ve decided to change that. I’m giving myself to explore now that I’ve experienced a rebirth into my authenticity. This exploration is exciting. I’m being exposed to many new things. I’m tasting life for the 1st time in a long time & it’s wonderful.
I’m learning that it’s okay to walk away from things that no longer speak to my spirit. I’m learning that I don’t have to have everything figured out. That’s unnerving and exciting.
Yesterday I stumbled upon coding. I was rushed back to my time at computer camp in my youth. I enjoyed computer camp but didn’t want to just be known for being smart so I didn’t pursue it. In the last 20+ hours I’ve discovered that learning coding language is something I desire. I’ve also decided not to talk myself out of it.
Here goes. In the past, I’ve been guilty of not letting myself do things that make me feel joy and excitement. That ends now.
#ftm #transman #healing #exploration #tech #coding #lgbtintech #STEM
Greetings family!
Today I decided that I need a STEM skill ASAP. I’m a husband and entrepreneur and I don’t want to be tied to an office for the rest of my life. I desire freedom in my time and finances. So….. I’ve decided to learn how to code. I’m not sure what will come of it but, I’m giving myself a short time to learn this skills. 2020 will be a year of abundance for me and mine.
Having said that, I had to find a way to learn coding that won’t require too much out of pocket. In my searching on the internet, I came across Career Karma. It’s an app that helps you decide on a career area in tech and helps prepare you for success by helping you plan your study time and keeping you accountable. You’re matched with a coach and everything.
I’m amazed by what I’ve learned so far and this is just day one! I’ll be posting about this journey here because I believe that coding is a valuable skill that can yield a great return. Let’s see if I’m right.
Until next time,
Bash
It’s refreshing to see people speaking openly about seeing a therapist. Listen…. the right therapist will walk you through the healing process. I’m learning that right now.
Why does one need a person to walk them through healing?
There are a number of reasons but the one I’ll highlight tonight is this: Healing can be turbulent and painful. It can require revisiting things your mind buried for survival. It can send you to places that you cannot handle alone
Healing can have you facing demons and wanting to retreat into yourself and never return. It can send you to the edges of darkness as you fight to bring light into your world.
Healing is a process & it takes WORK. A good therapist can help you to make that work a bit more manageable.
In this thing called life, we’re often putting focus on productivity at the expense of our health. This is NOT HEALTHY. We should, if possible, strive to find time to just relax and chill. It’s important.
There is a lie being told that has to be addressed. It has to be addressed because it has done a lot of harm to a lot of people. It has to be addressed because there is blood on the hands of those who continue to tell it.
What is this lie?
It is this: That God would create LGBTQ+ people and then damn us to Hell for living our truth. It’s not true now and it never has been. The fact that your pastor or your family believes that it’s sinful to be gay or transgender does not make it true.
What is true, however, is the fact that teaching this can cause harm. It can lead to homophobia, transphobia, & bullying. Hiding behind religion as a means for justifying the spread of a gross misinterpretation of scripture does not make it okay.
If you’re a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I want you to know that you are not an abomination. We have been here since the dawn of time and it is only in the last hundred years or so that it’s become trendy to beat us over the head with clobber passages. Your queerness is just as valid a part of you as anything else and should be celebrated. Live and love out loud. You have every right to.
Go in peace.
~Bash
I’m thinking of Moses tonight.
I’m thinking of how he had to go back and get his people.
Many are still bound by toxic theology.
Many are still bound by self-hate rooted in indoctrination.
I look to the story of Moses, among others, for guidance in this season.
Dear Sibling,
I don’t know what your journey looks like. I’m not sure if you’re out or closeted… medically transitioning or not. I don’t know your name or what you enjoy. There are many things that I do not know. I won’t pretend to. But I do know that you are worthy of love.
Your status as a transgender person does not take that away.
I know that there are those who may say things which make you question the value of your very life. Harsh words may be thrown at you and violence may be something you encounter. I wish it were not so… but I know that these things happen. The fact that they happen is not an indication that your inherent worth as a person is somehow less than that of anyone else. It speaks to the state of a wicked society which would allow anyone to believe that mistreating you is okay. It speaks to the condition of the heart of those who reject you. It does not say anything about you.
You are worthy of love. The way you experience life is valid. You have just as much of a right to live out loud as anyone else. I may not know you personally but you are my sibling. I love you. I’m rooting for you. And I will keep writing to you here so that, for a few moments, you will know that someone is carrying you in their heart.
With all of my heart,
Bash
I started this journey by asking questions. As a young member of the clergy, I wanted to be sure that what I taught was the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. In this spirit, I set out on a journey to discover what the absolute truth was….. This led me further away from Christianity, at least in the way it had been taught, and closer to an expanded view of the divine.
On this journey, I unlearned a great many things, not the least of which was self hate. I learned to love myself unconditionally, something that I’d never given myself permission to do before…. Something religion told me I should not do. I learned to embrace my queerness. I learned that falling in love with a woman was not a sin. I learned that my trans-ness does not separate me from the creator. I learned that being a logical person was not sinful. I learned that God is often made in the image of mankind and their prejudices.
I became free.
Free to explore the idea of God without worrying about going to Hell. Free to walk away from controlling and manipulative structures and focus on MY relationship with God minus theatrics and the expectations of people. I learned that there’s not a person on this planet that the creator requires me to allow to rule over the gifts that I have.
I escaped cycles of abuse and was able to being my healing process. I learned that difference between healthy relationships and toxic ones. I learned how to say, “No.”
I am a happier and healthier person for having asked those questions. I am better off after wrestling with my faith and those things I’ve come across while studying. It’s an ongoing process and I have battle scars but I’m eternally grateful for the day on which I started asking questions.
Bash Shares 