Black Lives in America

In light of recent event, I’m wondering if, as a black person, I’ll ever be safe in this country. This question led me to question everything else.

I question how we’ve been conditioned to think and how we’ve been programmed to blindly accept the guidance of those who are in authority.

For me, this begins well before I ever encountered anyone outside of my family unit. I question it all and I do not apologize for it.

I am black in a nation built on a foundation of white supremacy. I am terrified each and every day when leaving my home. I’m afraid to go for walks in my neighborhood. I’m afraid every time I have an interaction with law enforcement. I’m terrified that I’ll be in the wrong place at the wrong time wearing this skin. I’m terrified of having the police weaponized against me due to the color of my skin.

This must change.

God

Since the dawn of time, mankind has been on a quest to figure out where it all started. Where do we come from? Is there a supreme being out there who governs our behavior?

This quest has resulted in a beautiful array of religions throughout the world. Humanity has managed to look out into the world that surrounds us and identify the divine. Personally, I find this to be fascinating and beautiful. There are, however, those who would disagree.

The human ego has caused many of us “I was once guilty of this myself” to assume that the way in which the divine presents itself to us is the only valid path. Wars have been and still are being fought over this. People are losing their lives over this. For what though?

Perhaps we would be better served by seeing the divine in others.

Darkness…

Darkness.

It calls me.

For years, I’ve made multiple failed attempts at ignoring it’s call. I’ve followed path after path away only to, one day, end up drawn back to darkness.

It’s not that I like the intensity of the suffering or the loud silence of the isolation. No.

I take no pleasure in moments where it like a jealous lover, whispers my name. It caresses my scars and calls me by name.

It, after giving me the strength to make my escape, beckons me to return. Begs me to return.

This darkness begs to be thrust into the light. It’s tired of the shadows and corners in which we hid it so…. I oblige it.

I present darkness in hope that it’s shadows will bring light. In hope that the hearts of it’s observed are pricked….. that they are compelled to extraordinary empathy.

I present darkness so that formal and well-educated minds can see that which our program prohibits.

I present darkness and I pray that I’m not remembered only for my light.

For Me….

Years ago, I was a beast behind a video camera. No small movement escaped my gaze. I loved it but gave up on it cause “being a starving artist isn’t cute”

Today I bought a camera. I got it from a pawn shop. It’s not the greatest quality but it’s mine. I’ll be taking pictures very frequently over the next year to get my skills up.

I’ll have my creative dreams. I’ll have them come Hell or High Water.

I deserve this. I’m doing it. I’m doing it for me.

Breaking Heart

I often feel that during presidential elections, the very people that God would have us help are often ignored.

Those living in poverty are not on the agenda of either major US political party and this, to me, is unacceptable.

What further disgusts me is this idea of “vote blue no matter who”. I agree that Donald Trump is a horrible president who represents many of the worst things about this country. I did not support his campaign and I believe he has made a mockery of the office of president.

By that same token, I am hesitant to support any candidate who runs under the banner of Democrat because I have lost faith in that party too.

Both parties are just two wings of the same bird and, at their core, they will fight for the wealthy and those who reflect establishment ideals. They do not care about the average American. They care about campaign donations, votes, and power.

We saw it in 2016. We are seeing it now.

We’ve played their game long enough. I propose that we find a way to either dismantle and rebuild one of these parties or put our collective energy into a grassroots effort to build a strong third party in this country. We outnumber them and have the power to set the agenda for this nations.

Are we willing to begin working toward this?

I certainly hope so.

My heart breaks for those this system ignores. I weep for those who have lost their lives because we play this game of putting politics over people. I’ve cried out to God to give us the strength to stand and demand a drastic shift. I hope we’re for it.

My heart breaks for those whose blood is on the hands of those who would silence the revolution.

My heart breaks for my dear friend who died in this country because healthcare for all was not his reality and not having $200 for a prescription cost him his life.

#election #dems #republicans #faith #jesus #love #resist #revolution #fightforthepoor #loveinaction #greennewdeal #escapethematrix #bashshares #reimaginingrevival

New Habits

Hey Family!

We all want better lives BUT are we willing to make the changes needed to have better. I asked myself that question when I received 3 diagnoses that shook my world.

The truth is, it took me months to commit to doing the necessary things to change my life. These changes have been HARD. They have cost me relationships. They have cost me the ability to indulge in behaviors I enjoy.

I’ve decided that saving my life is worth it.

Switching It Up

I’ve done it folks. I’ve committed to a mostly plant based diet and I’m still here to talk about it! What’s also great is, I’ve lost about 12 pounds since my last visit with my doctor. I’m nowhere near my goal weight but I’m glad to not be where I was. Here’s a summary of the journey so far:

We’re part of the way through February and I’ve been doing my best to eat well. There have been some slip-ups that I’m not proud of but, overall, I’ve managed to make a lot of good dietary decisions. For the most part, I’ve been eating a lot of vegetables and nuts. This is in keeping with the information I was given when I spoke with a dietitian at the time of my diagnosis. My energy levels have been a bit low so I think I need more calories than I’ve been consuming.

To accomplish this need for more calories, I was intentional and actually meal prepped this week. At the heart of the meal prep is red cabbage. Red cabbage is a delicious and filling way to get in a nutritious food item that pairs well with a lot of other things. I’ll be consuming a lot of green veggies and beans alongside it and hopefully, I’ll have the energy I am looking for.

I won’t stop until I’m no longer on medication to help manage the diabetes. I won’t stop until I’m ripped enough to compete in a bodybuilding competition. I owe me and it’s time to pay up!

Peace.