Decide

Sometimes we are what’s holding us back.

Sometimes we are the problem.

I’m learning that it’s better to control what you can than it is to worry about what’s out of your control.

We cannot control what life throws at us. We can control how we respond to it.

This takes practice. A LOT of practice.

The next time your boss makes a last minute change or someone pushes a sense of urgency on you that would normally induce stress, take a few seconds to breathe and say to yourself, “I will not stress. I will not stress. I will not stress.”

It may seem like a small thing but this act will help you to be mindful of how your body and mind react to stressful situations.

I had a situation last week that prompted me to start doing this more frequently. My manager said, “This is going to be a stressful month.” That didn’t sit well with my spirit.

I am not okay with someone else deciding that I am going to be stressed. That’s a boundary that I don’t want anyone being able to cross. In that moment, my mind said, “No. This isn’t going to be a stressful month for me.”

To keep myself accountable to that decision, I remind myself each and every time I feel myself getting stressed out that “I will not stress.”

It’s working so far.

I hope it continues.

Thank you for reading.

Sending you good vibes.

-Bash

Reflections after time spent with the earth….

I recently decided to pursue a journey with farming.

I’ve been fortunate to connect with some folks who are helping me to get started. It’s exciting.

Every second spent with the land leaves me yearning for more.

Food systems are important and I think food systems planning is how I’m going to end up putting my degree to work.

The land feels like home. It reminds me of the things I miss most about my childhood. It inspires me to honor my roots.

When I’m with the land, time flies by. In the stillness, I feel closer to my ancestors. I feel closer to the divine. I feel the liberty to just be me. All of me.

I Am

I am. It’s a complete sentence and a complicated one.

I exist at many intersections of identity. Some of them clash at times.

These clashes make them no less valid.

I am complicated.

I am gentle and intense.

I am fire and water.

I am so many things.

I once hated this reality. I wanted to hide the parts of me I perceived to be undesirable.

With time and experience came a change.

I spend years wanting those around me to celebrate me.

I betrayed myself for the approval of others.

Now I love ME completely.

If someone asks me who my biggest fan is, I won’t look around for anyone else to point out because well….

I am.

2022 Fasting

As the year 2021 comes to a close, I am preparing for my annual start of the year season of fasting.

It started during my time in the C.O.G.I.C. denomination. We did a 21 day Daniel fast every year. It helped a lot of folks lose weight and get centered and/or closer to God.

Now that I’m more of a Christian universalist than anything else, I’ve decided to kick off 2022 with a season of fasting. I know that part of it will be a financial fast in which is engage in necessary spending only. I’m also considering a social media fast during which I abstain from posting on social media or from scrolling obsessively through social media. The jury is still out on that one but I do know that I need a time of fasting.

I used to think that fasting moved God but what it does, for me, is give me an opportunity to be more mindful about what I put into my body and what it is that I allow into my mind. This is something I find grounding because we live in a consumer culture where we are pressed on all sides to eat more, scroll more, & spend more. I wonder what this has done to our ability to produce meaningful things in our society. 🤔

I don’t have an answer in this moment but I’m searching. Hopefully the cutbacks I make this month and the fasting I do to start the new year will bring me closer to an answer.

Thanks for reading.

Bash