Day 9: I Quit My Job

Today I quit my job to do something important. It was terrifying. It was exhilarating. It was necessary. I still have one shift to go but I did it. I seized an unexpected opportunity and decided to say yes to an adventure.

I’m happy to be leaving the world of B2B sales behind. I won’t miss this job. I have to be honest with myself about that one. I have given it a shot and am okay with admitting that it’s just not a good fit for me. There’s no shame in that.

As a recovering codependent, I’m happy that I chose to do this. It’s the first time since I started this journey of recovery that I’m making a major shift. I aim for it to not be my last.

I’m grateful to the source of all for this opportunity to grow. My faith increases with each passing day. I’m not a mistake. My trans experience is a gift from on high. I choose alignment with purpose. I choose to bet on the god in me.

I love you.

~Bash

Day 8: No More Excuses

Today’s thought is simple. STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR NOT LIVING THE LIFE YOU DESIRE.

It’s a hard truth but sometimes we come up with an abundance of excuses for remaining in a rut. Having excuses gets us off the hook for any responsibility we have for changing our lives. We sell ourselves short when we do this. Let’s stop it TODAY.

I love you.

~Bash

Day 7: Investing In Myself

Back in 2016, I became a certified life coach under my dead-name. That certification has since expired so I’ve decided to spend the money necessary to get re-certified. Like getting baptized after coming out, this is a necessary step for me to move forward in my life. I finalized my enrollment in an accredited course this morning before clocking in at my day job. I feel excited.

It’s like going back to school, only this time I’m going as my full self. That’s important.

I’ve also started a travel agency. This is HUGE because my wife and I both love to travel and this will allow us to increase our bottom line. If I do this correctly, I’ll have the freedom to work from wherever I am. This will be hard work but it will also be work that I can be proud of.

It feels good to be on my way toward a career instead of just rotting away at a job. Thank you for letting me share my journey with you.

I love you.

~Bash

Day 6: Setting The Atmosphere

Yesterday I took some “me time”. I called my parents. They’re not affirming so I was dead-named and misgendered. My therapist thinks I should severe ties with them. I’m still battling that. It’s likely because of learned behavior. I’m a recovering codependent and I wonder how this will change as I work the steps.

Today, I’m purging some of my belongings and reorganizing. This journey toward minimalism is a bit tougher than I expected but it’s beautiful nonetheless. Having more open space just helps. I’m able to think more clearly and it’s easier to find everything.

I’m a few minutes, I’m going to get up, shower, and get dressed for a day of cleaning and purging. Hopefully a lot of calories will be burned. Hopefully I’ll learn a few more things about myself.

Wish me luck.

I love you.

~Bash

Love on YOU.

I’ve mastered many things in my life but self love ain’t among them. For most of my life I learned to be a chameleon for my own safety and the real me got lost in the process.

Now that I’m at a place in my life where I can live out loud, I sometimes struggle with being kind to ME. Working on my manuscript has brought me face to face with my need for some good loving from myself. That can be tough but I’ve decided to be intentional about it.

To start, I’ve dusted off my dreams and interests. I’ve made some needed investments in those things that bring me joy like dystopian novels, strong coffee, time alone, motivational lectures, etc. It’s necessary.

Why?

Those of us who are called to bring light into darkness and speak truth to power must first learn to heal ourselves. We must learn to accept ourselves. We must be comfortable with loving on ourselves. We must do this in the face of the many years of programming which told us that who we are is evil and disgusting in the eyes of the creator. We must do this even when relatives and friends walk away. We must do this so that those whose lives we are called to touch can be impacted positively because our service will come from a place of healing and not a place of bitterness.

Love on yourself. It’s okay.

Love on yourself. It’s necessary.

Love on yourself until you understand that you are worthy of unconditional love just because you exist.

I love you.

-Bash

Unconditional Love

It’s 2020 and yet people are still Hell bent on being pissed off at parents who love their child unconditionally. Dwayne Wade has accepted his daughter’s truth and people are bent out of shape.

I saw statuses and posts about it on various social media platforms today at my day job and tonight, with a malt beverage in hand, I’m going to address it.

Trans people have been here since the dawn of time. We have been in every civilization and the fact that your limited understanding of the trans experience is where it is, does not excuse the foolish arguments that find their way to the light each time a story like this is in the limelight.

It would take much more time than I have tonight to address all the stupid things people fix their mouths to say so I’ll address one. There is no LBGT agenda to destroy the black community. If half the folks who say shit like this KNEW their history, they would be ashamed. Black and brown people of LGBTQ+ experience have been on the frontlines for progress and movement building for generations. One of the most brilliant minds behind the African American Civil Rights Movement was a gay man.

We’re in your families. We’re in your churches. We’re in your communities & we’re not going ANYWHERE.

I, for one, am glad that the world can now see what unconditional love looks like. The world can see parents loving a child and just letter her be HERSELF. I can only imagine what the world would be like if more parents would choose loving their children more than their ego and programming. Maybe the number of LGBT youth who take their own lives would drastically decline. Maybe the rate of homelessness among LGBT youth would decline. Or maybe, maybe parents who love their programming more than their children wouldn’t be missing out on relationships with amazing human beings.

🤷🏾‍♂️ I don’t know.

But I can imagine that the next generation of LGBT youth would be better off if we could get our collective shit together and educate ourselves.

-Bash

p.s. Don’t blame your bigotry on God. They made LGBT folks and have no issues with us living in our truth.