Day 13: Healing

Healing can be painful. This weekend I’ve taken time to revisit old wounds with the intent of healing them.

There are things I wish I could undo. There are events I wish never happened. There are things that were beat into me that I now have to unlearn.

One day at a time family. One day at a time.

I love you.

~Bash

Day 9: I Quit My Job

Today I quit my job to do something important. It was terrifying. It was exhilarating. It was necessary. I still have one shift to go but I did it. I seized an unexpected opportunity and decided to say yes to an adventure.

I’m happy to be leaving the world of B2B sales behind. I won’t miss this job. I have to be honest with myself about that one. I have given it a shot and am okay with admitting that it’s just not a good fit for me. There’s no shame in that.

As a recovering codependent, I’m happy that I chose to do this. It’s the first time since I started this journey of recovery that I’m making a major shift. I aim for it to not be my last.

I’m grateful to the source of all for this opportunity to grow. My faith increases with each passing day. I’m not a mistake. My trans experience is a gift from on high. I choose alignment with purpose. I choose to bet on the god in me.

I love you.

~Bash

Day 8: No More Excuses

Today’s thought is simple. STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR NOT LIVING THE LIFE YOU DESIRE.

It’s a hard truth but sometimes we come up with an abundance of excuses for remaining in a rut. Having excuses gets us off the hook for any responsibility we have for changing our lives. We sell ourselves short when we do this. Let’s stop it TODAY.

I love you.

~Bash

Unconditional Love

It’s 2020 and yet people are still Hell bent on being pissed off at parents who love their child unconditionally. Dwayne Wade has accepted his daughter’s truth and people are bent out of shape.

I saw statuses and posts about it on various social media platforms today at my day job and tonight, with a malt beverage in hand, I’m going to address it.

Trans people have been here since the dawn of time. We have been in every civilization and the fact that your limited understanding of the trans experience is where it is, does not excuse the foolish arguments that find their way to the light each time a story like this is in the limelight.

It would take much more time than I have tonight to address all the stupid things people fix their mouths to say so I’ll address one. There is no LBGT agenda to destroy the black community. If half the folks who say shit like this KNEW their history, they would be ashamed. Black and brown people of LGBTQ+ experience have been on the frontlines for progress and movement building for generations. One of the most brilliant minds behind the African American Civil Rights Movement was a gay man.

We’re in your families. We’re in your churches. We’re in your communities & we’re not going ANYWHERE.

I, for one, am glad that the world can now see what unconditional love looks like. The world can see parents loving a child and just letter her be HERSELF. I can only imagine what the world would be like if more parents would choose loving their children more than their ego and programming. Maybe the number of LGBT youth who take their own lives would drastically decline. Maybe the rate of homelessness among LGBT youth would decline. Or maybe, maybe parents who love their programming more than their children wouldn’t be missing out on relationships with amazing human beings.

🤷🏾‍♂️ I don’t know.

But I can imagine that the next generation of LGBT youth would be better off if we could get our collective shit together and educate ourselves.

-Bash

p.s. Don’t blame your bigotry on God. They made LGBT folks and have no issues with us living in our truth.

Change…

Over the last few years there has been a LOT of change in my life. I’ve moved across the country, married the love of my life, walked with my love through a cancer battle, changed jobs/ careers….. and much more.

Lately I’ve been feeling exhausted. Anxiety and depression have been trying to have their way with me. I’ve been fighting the urge to just settle into a dead end job and stop trying so hard. I was having a really low moment today and so I took a cleansing salt bath and reflected on why I chose this path in the 1st place. It took a few minutes but I found my why again and took the time to look at how far I’ve come on this journey. I looked at the lesson in every experience and concluded that the journey so far has been worth it.

I am the man that I am today because I decided a long time ago not to live a scared lie anymore. Sure, I lost people and community that I’d spent years building. I’ve had a good bit of money and I’ve been broke to the point of homelessness and hunger. I’ve cried myself to sleep many nights and there was a time when the only comfort I could find was in a bottle because I had bought into a theology which said that God rejected me for living honestly. This pain is not pain that I would wish on anyone. I cannot pretend that it has not hurt because it has BUT I get to choose what I do with the pain. I get to choose to push past the pain so that others won’t have to endure what I have. I choose to use the pain as fuel for my purpose.

I choose life.

I choose love.

I choose me.