Healing can be painful. This weekend I’ve taken time to revisit old wounds with the intent of healing them.
There are things I wish I could undo. There are events I wish never happened. There are things that were beat into me that I now have to unlearn.
One day at a time family. One day at a time.
I love you.
Today I quit my job to do something important. It was terrifying. It was exhilarating. It was necessary. I still have one shift to go but I did it. I seized an unexpected opportunity and decided to say yes to an adventure.
I’m happy to be leaving the world of B2B sales behind. I won’t miss this job. I have to be honest with myself about that one. I have given it a shot and am okay with admitting that it’s just not a good fit for me. There’s no shame in that.
As a recovering codependent, I’m happy that I chose to do this. It’s the first time since I started this journey of recovery that I’m making a major shift. I aim for it to not be my last.
I’m grateful to the source of all for this opportunity to grow. My faith increases with each passing day. I’m not a mistake. My trans experience is a gift from on high. I choose alignment with purpose. I choose to bet on the god in me.
I love you.
Today’s thought is simple. STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR NOT LIVING THE LIFE YOU DESIRE.
It’s a hard truth but sometimes we come up with an abundance of excuses for remaining in a rut. Having excuses gets us off the hook for any responsibility we have for changing our lives. We sell ourselves short when we do this. Let’s stop it TODAY.
I love you.
Back in 2016, I became a certified life coach under my dead-name. That certification has since expired so I’ve decided to spend the money necessary to get re-certified. Like getting baptized after coming out, this is a necessary step for me to move forward in my life. I finalized my enrollment in an accredited course this morning before clocking in at my day job. I feel excited.
It’s like going back to school, only this time I’m going as my full self. That’s important.
I’ve also started a travel agency. This is HUGE because my wife and I both love to travel and this will allow us to increase our bottom line. If I do this correctly, I’ll have the freedom to work from wherever I am. This will be hard work but it will also be work that I can be proud of.
It feels good to be on my way toward a career instead of just rotting away at a job. Thank you for letting me share my journey with you.
I love you.
Yesterday I took some “me time”. I called my parents. They’re not affirming so I was dead-named and misgendered. My therapist thinks I should severe ties with them. I’m still battling that. It’s likely because of learned behavior. I’m a recovering codependent and I wonder how this will change as I work the steps.
Today, I’m purging some of my belongings and reorganizing. This journey toward minimalism is a bit tougher than I expected but it’s beautiful nonetheless. Having more open space just helps. I’m able to think more clearly and it’s easier to find everything.
I’m a few minutes, I’m going to get up, shower, and get dressed for a day of cleaning and purging. Hopefully a lot of calories will be burned. Hopefully I’ll learn a few more things about myself.
Wish me luck.
I love you.
Greetings family. I need to be honest with y’all about something.
I hate my job.
As a sales professional by day, I have the skills to do my job well but….. I’m miserable. My work does not bring me joy. It does not excite me. I feel no purpose in it.
The last time I felt excited to go to work was when I was a trainer and performance coach. I loved being the first face new hires encountered and helping them become acclimated to the job. It was awesome!
I have to find my way back to earning a living by coaching and developing people. I need that. I crave that.
Stop by tomorrow as I begin to document my journey toward getting there.
I love you.
I’ve mastered many things in my life but self love ain’t among them. For most of my life I learned to be a chameleon for my own safety and the real me got lost in the process.
Now that I’m at a place in my life where I can live out loud, I sometimes struggle with being kind to ME. Working on my manuscript has brought me face to face with my need for some good loving from myself. That can be tough but I’ve decided to be intentional about it.
To start, I’ve dusted off my dreams and interests. I’ve made some needed investments in those things that bring me joy like dystopian novels, strong coffee, time alone, motivational lectures, etc. It’s necessary.
Those of us who are called to bring light into darkness and speak truth to power must first learn to heal ourselves. We must learn to accept ourselves. We must be comfortable with loving on ourselves. We must do this in the face of the many years of programming which told us that who we are is evil and disgusting in the eyes of the creator. We must do this even when relatives and friends walk away. We must do this so that those whose lives we are called to touch can be impacted positively because our service will come from a place of healing and not a place of bitterness.
Love on yourself. It’s okay.
Love on yourself. It’s necessary.
Love on yourself until you understand that you are worthy of unconditional love just because you exist.
I love you.
I’ve done it folks. I’ve committed to a mostly plant based diet and I’m still here to talk about it! What’s also great is, I’ve lost about 12 pounds since my last visit with my doctor. I’m nowhere near my goal weight but I’m glad to not be where I was. Here’s a summary of the journey so far:
We’re part of the way through February and I’ve been doing my best to eat well. There have been some slip-ups that I’m not proud of but, overall, I’ve managed to make a lot of good dietary decisions. For the most part, I’ve been eating a lot of vegetables and nuts. This is in keeping with the information I was given when I spoke with a dietitian at the time of my diagnosis. My energy levels have been a bit low so I think I need more calories than I’ve been consuming.
To accomplish this need for more calories, I was intentional and actually meal prepped this week. At the heart of the meal prep is red cabbage. Red cabbage is a delicious and filling way to get in a nutritious food item that pairs well with a lot of other things. I’ll be consuming a lot of green veggies and beans alongside it and hopefully, I’ll have the energy I am looking for.
I won’t stop until I’m no longer on medication to help manage the diabetes. I won’t stop until I’m ripped enough to compete in a bodybuilding competition. I owe me and it’s time to pay up!