I Am

I am. It’s a complete sentence and a complicated one.

I exist at many intersections of identity. Some of them clash at times.

These clashes make them no less valid.

I am complicated.

I am gentle and intense.

I am fire and water.

I am so many things.

I once hated this reality. I wanted to hide the parts of me I perceived to be undesirable.

With time and experience came a change.

I spend years wanting those around me to celebrate me.

I betrayed myself for the approval of others.

Now I love ME completely.

If someone asks me who my biggest fan is, I won’t look around for anyone else to point out because well….

I am.

2022 Fasting

As the year 2021 comes to a close, I am preparing for my annual start of the year season of fasting.

It started during my time in the C.O.G.I.C. denomination. We did a 21 day Daniel fast every year. It helped a lot of folks lose weight and get centered and/or closer to God.

Now that I’m more of a Christian universalist than anything else, I’ve decided to kick off 2022 with a season of fasting. I know that part of it will be a financial fast in which is engage in necessary spending only. I’m also considering a social media fast during which I abstain from posting on social media or from scrolling obsessively through social media. The jury is still out on that one but I do know that I need a time of fasting.

I used to think that fasting moved God but what it does, for me, is give me an opportunity to be more mindful about what I put into my body and what it is that I allow into my mind. This is something I find grounding because we live in a consumer culture where we are pressed on all sides to eat more, scroll more, & spend more. I wonder what this has done to our ability to produce meaningful things in our society. 🤔

I don’t have an answer in this moment but I’m searching. Hopefully the cutbacks I make this month and the fasting I do to start the new year will bring me closer to an answer.

Thanks for reading.

Bash

Can’t sleep

Sometimes I hate when God uses late night hours to speak to me.

I haven’t had a good night of sleep in a couple months. I hear the call. I feel the push.

I gotta do it.

Maybe then God and my ancestors will let me sleep.

Ministry

As a trans man who is called to ministry, I’ve been slacking.

I’ve been afraid.

I’m not afraid anymore.

Now I’m hustling and building. Challenging systems and cistems. I’m grinding.

It’s not about me.

It’s not about the money.

It’s all about the message.

God is love.

God is in all of us.

We should be love.

Keto

My latest appointment was not what I’d hoped. I was at 315 lbs at the appointment and my numbers were not where they needed to be as far as my bloodwork was concerned.

The changes I’ve been making have not been doing the job so I’ve switched to keto. I’m doing this after a discussion with my doctor about taking a more aggressive approach to taking my health back. I would encourage everyone considering something like a drastic change in diet to consult a doctor first.

Having said that. I’m now at day 3 of keto and it has been a struggle. I love carbs and before deciding to go keto I didn’t realize how hard it is to eat under 20 carbs a day. It’s a challenge but one that is worth it for the fitness goals that I have.

I’ll be posting daily on Instagram @bashshares. I will also be posting here as I move through the journey. I could use community while tackling this because, honestly, fitness is something I’ve always desired to through myself into but was afraid.

I’m ready to kick diabetes’ ass.

*I am not a medical professional, I am merely documenting my personal journey with Diabetes Type 2*

Water & Lemon

This week, I have a confession to make. I’ve been on partaking in sweet tea, soda, & other beverages which I have no business drinking. I’ve been doing very well with my food choices but I need to get my behavior around everything I’m taking into my body in order.

For that reason, I’m giving up the bad stuff and moving toward water and water with lemon for the majority of my liquid intake. The last time I lost a lot of weight, this was part of my methodology.

Notice, I said mostly. I will be ingesting things like smoothies with almond or oat milk as a base, hot tea with no sweetener, pre-workout, coffee with a splash of cream (non-dairy) and ACV. These things are a part of my daily routine as I increase my activity levels and engage in strength and resistance training.

Today is Monday and I will check in this weekend with results. For context, I am currently on a low carb eating plan. For the most part, I eat fruit, veggies, and either lean meat or plant based “meat”. I am doing this because I am, in addition to working to achieve weight loss, working to reverse my Type 2 diabetes. I’m not tracking my weight right now. I’ll get weighed at my next appointment at the end of the month. Instead, I’m watching how my clothing fits and whether or not I deal with inflammation on a daily basis.

*I am not a medical professional, I am merely documenting my personal journey with Diabetes Type 2*

Black Lives Matter ✊🏿

Police brutality must be stopped in this country. We must stand up. We all have an obligation to do our part.

Moving forward, I am dedicating this platform to seeking equality and justice for black people in the USA. I will remain dedicated to this purpose until meaningful change comes and beyond.

#blacklivesmatter #nojusticenopeace #justice #revolutions #blacktranslivesmatter