Love on YOU.

I’ve mastered many things in my life but self love ain’t among them. For most of my life I learned to be a chameleon for my own safety and the real me got lost in the process.

Now that I’m at a place in my life where I can live out loud, I sometimes struggle with being kind to ME. Working on my manuscript has brought me face to face with my need for some good loving from myself. That can be tough but I’ve decided to be intentional about it.

To start, I’ve dusted off my dreams and interests. I’ve made some needed investments in those things that bring me joy like dystopian novels, strong coffee, time alone, motivational lectures, etc. It’s necessary.

Why?

Those of us who are called to bring light into darkness and speak truth to power must first learn to heal ourselves. We must learn to accept ourselves. We must be comfortable with loving on ourselves. We must do this in the face of the many years of programming which told us that who we are is evil and disgusting in the eyes of the creator. We must do this even when relatives and friends walk away. We must do this so that those whose lives we are called to touch can be impacted positively because our service will come from a place of healing and not a place of bitterness.

Love on yourself. It’s okay.

Love on yourself. It’s necessary.

Love on yourself until you understand that you are worthy of unconditional love just because you exist.

I love you.

-Bash

Switching It Up

I’ve done it folks. I’ve committed to a mostly plant based diet and I’m still here to talk about it! What’s also great is, I’ve lost about 12 pounds since my last visit with my doctor. I’m nowhere near my goal weight but I’m glad to not be where I was. Here’s a summary of the journey so far:

We’re part of the way through February and I’ve been doing my best to eat well. There have been some slip-ups that I’m not proud of but, overall, I’ve managed to make a lot of good dietary decisions. For the most part, I’ve been eating a lot of vegetables and nuts. This is in keeping with the information I was given when I spoke with a dietitian at the time of my diagnosis. My energy levels have been a bit low so I think I need more calories than I’ve been consuming.

To accomplish this need for more calories, I was intentional and actually meal prepped this week. At the heart of the meal prep is red cabbage. Red cabbage is a delicious and filling way to get in a nutritious food item that pairs well with a lot of other things. I’ll be consuming a lot of green veggies and beans alongside it and hopefully, I’ll have the energy I am looking for.

I won’t stop until I’m no longer on medication to help manage the diabetes. I won’t stop until I’m ripped enough to compete in a bodybuilding competition. I owe me and it’s time to pay up!

Peace.